Guam cartography

One of my first tasks upon arriving in Guam was to get my dog, Ripley, out of quarantine.  She was being kept at the Harper Valley Kennels (HVK), somewhere on the island, but since they carted her from the airport directly to their site, I had no idea where to get her.  HVK's website provides this map to help you find them:

Seriously?  I mean, why bother?  No streets are labeled, there's no address for the kennel, and the exact location has been added in by some non-Google-map entity, though this is clearly a Google map.  Google maps, in conjunction with GPS technology on my iPhone, are my mainstay of navigation back home.  They let a blue dot in my palm tell me exactly where I am at any point in time and tell me how to find any location worth going to.  Sadly, Google maps are next to useless on Guam because not much has a real street address, or Google can't find it.  (Don't even think about using the little yellow guy.) 

After some searching, I found HVK's address on their website, entered it into Google maps, and was shown another location entirely.  So I called them to figure out where I was supposed to go.  I was told to come to their Hagatna address (their vet location) so they could give me a map to their kennel location in Chalan Pago.  I considered that they would give me the same map they had online, and also wondered why if they had a better map, why that one wasn't online?  But asking would waste time, and I just wanted to rescue my dog.

Instead I asked where the vet office was and how to get there.  Studies have shown that women are more likely to give directions by referencing landmarks, whereas men are more likely to use cardinal directions and distances to travel.  Guamanians, regardless of gender, tend to tell you where something is using a few large buildings as landmarks, which is challenging for a noob to the island.  I was told by the dude on the phone that "a good landmark is the Yamaha building - we're on the second floor."  This was great information, had I already known where the Yamaha building was.  (Internally:  I need to know how to GET to where you are, not where you are!)  Luckily there's one main drag that goes around the island, and I knew how to get to Hagatna.  Driving nice and slowly, I eventually found the Yamaha building, and went upstairs to get my map. 

Now conventions make the world go 'round, and there are countless ones we all agree to (some of them unconsciously) in order to maintain some level of consistency or to keep communication clear.  Some conventions make perfect sense, like using the metric system for measurement.  (Come on, America, get on board this ship.)  Sometimes they make no sense at all, like calling the direction that current flows through a wire the direction that positive charges move, when it's really negatively charged electrons doing the moving (in the other direction).  Silly physicists.  Much to the chagrin of my students year after year, many of our science conventions are so well-entrenched that it's harder to change them than it is to train people to do things in a counterintuitive way.  Sorry, kids.  You'll get over it, just like I'll figure Guam out eventually...

Cartography, the art/science of making maps, has been around for thousands of years, but I was apparently mistaken in thinking (what I perceived as) the largely universal conventions used when drawing maps would be followed here on Guam.  These are the basic things that I've grown accustomed to expect of any map, unless otherwise indicated:

1. The map should attempt to represent as accurately as possible the terrain you're trying to navigate.  This is how you can recognize where you are and figure out where you need to go.
2. Scale will be incorportated into the map, thereby giving an estimate of how long it'll take you to get from here to there.
3. If there's no compass rose shown, the top of the map is north.  Of course this is a Northern Hemisphere-centric perspective on the world.  I love maps with Australia on the top and at the center.  Either is fine, just let me know which end is "up" and I can orient myself.  (The enemy's gate is always down.)

I'm also willing to go on rough sketches drawn on the back of an envelope or napkin and give the novice cartographer the benefit of the doubt.  Not all of us can draw well.  But if someone's going to give me a pre-printed map to follow, not a quick sketch, I expect it to incorporate at least some of the conventions into said navigation aid.  Welcome to Guam.

It took the woman at HVK five minutes to explain this map.  I think she wasn't sure I knew to follow the roads, so she drew in some great clarifying arrows for me.  And can I just say, if it takes five minutes to explain a map, it needs more detail.  Just saying.  She also gave me some landmarks to look for (note the Shell and 76 gas stations written in), but true to my study's findings, she neglected to indicate any distances. 

After she was done giving me "directions," I asked, "So how far is it from here to the Department of Agriculture?"

It looks like it's a large city block away, right?  She just looked at me for what seemed like a long time, so the teacher in me offered some leading questions.

"Is it like five minutes?  Ten minutes?"

After a sigh, an eyeroll of annoyance, and some thought, she claimed it'd be about 15 minutes with traffic.  While it took me about 7 minutes to get there, I began to get quite concerned after driving not very far when my mental image of the route I'd be taking based on the low tech model in my palm was very different from the path I was taking, even though I was carefully staying on the roads with the arrows.  Take a look at what this map should have attempted to approximate:

(click to zoom) 

I just had to look this up after I got home.  I especially love that routes 8 and 4 on the sketch seem to parallel each other, while for most of their lengths they're actually close to perpendicular.  (I also can't believe how many schools there are on the island.  This is just one tiny section of it!)

After going to the Department of Agriculture to get Ripley's release paperwork, I had a lunch date with K to keep before picking up the pooch.  I figured I'd continue to follow the map and hang a right at route 4 to get me back to the main drag to pick up my date.  With all the hidden twists and turns I had no idea of at the time, and no landmarks but jungle around me, I eventually just started following signs back to Hagatna since I figured the island isn't that big.  When I could see the ocean in the distance I begain to relax because I could reorient myself.  I had just a brief moment of concern when I thought about coming out on the other side of the island - after all, the ocean's everywhere out there - but I quickly reclaimed my confidence. 

After lunch it took another hour to find the right road to the kennel using my map.  Luckily I have a lot of time here.  On the bright side, I did find both the University of Guam and Guam Community College while meandering around off the beaten path of Marine Corps Drive (route 1).  Maybe I'll drum up some tutoring gigs out there.  I'm sure there are some Guamanians struggling with chemistry conventions that seem just as crazy to me as Guamanian navigation methods.